Eat?! Food?!

One minute after check in at one of the hotels I got a text:
Who the heck put a SCALE in the room?!?!

As you know it’s impossible to stop scratching a mosquito bite. So I couldn’t resist try my (un)luck at the scale.

I don’t know if it’s because of the time different or some physics laws that make you different heavy at different places on earth. Whatever it is the damn Scale showed TEN (10) (X) kilos more now then the one at home did before I jumped on this tour.











This is a tribute to all the food on this tour.

Catering build this body!



Cheers Franzén for your almost sick interest in taking pictures of the food.

=0)

I stan Istanbul

My first 24 hours in Istanbul turned out to be most interesting.
At 2 in the night we pull up at the meeting point on a truck parking just outside Istanbul on the Asian side.
So from this time at night and 24 hours a head this happen:

* A transsexual turk offers me his/hers/its range of service.
* The runner doesn’t show up.
* Enter Istanbul in the sunrise. Just amazing while we passed over Bosporus.
* At 7 in the morning I get to my ice cream hotel, after a shitlong working shift.
* I get a desk cleaner shaped as a ladybird -I’m happy again!
* A taxi driver give me a ride worse then a rollercoaster.
* Having dinner with the crew in a spot so beautiful it hurts.
* Smoke water pipe.
* Get back to the icecream hotel at midnight, and then realise it certainly isn’t time for the bed.
*Hey Taxidriver, bring us to the closest club!

Thanks for the shadow trailer

I’m sitting here under the trailer, trying to escape from the sun and heat, guess it‘s just 35 degrees in this spot.
I love this trailer, it gives me the best coffee in Turkey, internet and shadow.
The Turks over my head love the show and demos.
And the local stuff is happy to be somewhere else then the ordinary office.
You see, everyone’s happy!

In an hour it’s time to close down, pack everything together and leave Ankara.
FYI: Ankara has 7 centres and the best meat I ever had.

However we’re moving to Istanbul, and back to the European side. A town the people here speak proudly about and I'm looking forward to feel the pulse and stay in an ice-cream hotel!
Byebye Asia, see you in a week or two.

Stand: by Shitalurv

During a most interesting night someone told me that I got free hands to make a video of how to put a stand together.
I never done a serious video before, but hey, I surely had a good time today when I made it.

I hope you like it as much as I do.

ROADshow got a new meaning

From one place to an other.
From a beach to a Capital.
From Cesme to Ankara.


The roads here in Turkey are very, hmm interesting. There’s a lot of constructions along them and sometimes the lane just disappear and then return 20 meters later. In many of the distances it was as bumpy as the face of Yoda. If would been a can of Sprite, I guess would manage to cover the area of Shreks’ swamp if anyone opened me. Luckily I’m not a can, I’m a human.

Any jisses, I happy I’m not any of the workers a long there. We passed hundreds, and hundreds people making roads, working in the fields, cutting the marble. It must been 800 degrees in the sun.
I’m lucky to be born into a farmer family from Sweden, otherwise that could have been me in that shitty position. Or well, now, I would be home and cook food probably…


Anyway, now to the part I was going to write about.
How we entered the site in Ankara.
Dam dam padam pam.!

As you know I travel with a truck. A truck is slightly bigger then a car -in all directions. And just because a car can enter a place it doesn’t mean my truck can.
To get to the premises in Ankara we had to do some unexpected moves.
* We closed down a 4line highway, just like that. Our guy surely had some nice contacts in his mobile.
* In the phonebook this guy also found 3 gardeners that meet us in the morning, ready to cut down branches and give the trees a new nice haircut.

This is what I like with my work, I see things, work with people and face situations that are so special. Each stop is unique and will never come back.
I honestly like my work.
How about you?

StUnNingExpress

Så nu är det turkland som gäller för touren. Första stop världskända Cesme.
Trucken och jag tog oss hit på olika sätt. Den flög fram på vägarna. Jag flög med underbar SunExpress.
SunExpress är Turkiets svar på Apollo.

SunExpress skiljer sig lite från flygbolagen jag rest med senaste månaderna.
Lyckliga jag hamnade på fjärde rad. Businessclass tänkte jag, yes här ska det bli gratisdrinkar och fluffig kudde.
Nääää, på SunExpress så har de jäla Kindergarten där. Inclusive unge som vrålade KONSTANT under hela nerfärden. Jag som är såååå barnkär såg potentialen i kidden, en dag kommer han bli en stor ledare! Han fick nämligen lillasyster att sympati-skrika med honom de sista 20 minuterna.
Sicken förebild!

En annan skilland med SunExpress är att det luktar urin och att de lagar planet med silvertejp!
Helt rätt tänkande i dessa dagar med cost obsession!

3D => 4D

3D filmerna är på frammarch, som en liten ninjaarmé nässlar de sig in i biomörkret.
Dagens attack bestod av alla de små lurviga och larviga varelserna från IceAge.
Vänskap, enkla skämt, värme, vuxna skämt, söta djur -mao en riktig må-bra-film.
*Om det nu inte vore för att den lilla trubbelmakaren läspar. Sorrymen läspningar ger mig rysningar.*

Iaf det är otroligt skarpa detaljer, bilden är helt suverän. Länge leve tekniken!
Men om 3D.n ska ta hem kampen behövs större dukar.
Tänk stort, tänk större, tänk Cosmonova.
Jag vill att 3D isbitarna ska skära in i halsen på mig.
Att ekollonet knockar mig!
Att lustgaserna omsluter mig!!!


På vägen hem från bion så blev jag tillfånga tagen och fängslad av elittruppernas elittrupp
-Uppsala i 4D.
Att cykla hem genom Uppsala en ljum sommarkväll är helt PÖB.
Den krispiga luften, att varje kvarter är som olika världar.
Den härliga doften av jasmin, liv, (våt)asfalt och frihet.
Och allt det här suger jag i mig medan jag leendes trampar fram på min blåablixt; sjungandes och visslandes .
DET är en segrande 4D.

Horny Hedgehog

Mmm, hello dreamgirl...





Cheers!





Grrr...


And one for the other leg.



Ahhh..!

Iiiiih..!

And one for loosing my mind.





Woooow..!

If you wanne see dead people.

Just amazing!
I'm not a big fan of museums, unless there's a lot of experiments and things to try.
But this on is just breathtaking and incredible fascinating!

http://www.visitlondon.com/bodyworlds/exhibition/what-youll-see

This exhibition is banned in many countries, among Sweden,
since some find it to disgusting and defensive to actually see dead people like.

But if you can handle it, try to make it to any of the exhibitons around the globe.
It’s deathly amazing!

Away on a way

There’s a few options to go from Heathrow airport to a hotel in Ascot, less then 30 km. One way is to jump in to a taxi, pay 75 pund (1000kr) and have a chat with the talk-sick English driver.

OooooR.

You jump in to the taxi, start an argue with the driver, get thrown out.
Start to explore the terrific (host host) world of busses, and trains.
You end up in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night.

Now you start to regret that you didn’t take the cab.
Soon your in a bus parking.
Hmm.
You change shoes, to be able to run. Just in case.
And why not also sent a message to a friend:

FYI
Bus 555 from Heathrow, to where it park for the night.
Car R287VJO.
Message sent.

Half an hour later your rolling in to the fancy hotel, have a coffee with the friendly gentleman and sleep like a princess in the old, royal room.

Hat + Hot + Hit =

= Trucken at the racecourse in Ascot, London.

grillfest grillfest hela dan!

Tjohoo I'm back!
Sedan min älskade följeslagare och kamera tog självmord
har jag inte vart så sugen att uppdatera här.
Har nu skaffat mig en ny sommarflirt.
Upp till bevis darling, vad har du fångar för oförglömliga (vill glömma) bilder?

Fire!



Snygg, Snyggare, Miccan.




Mmmm Marshmallow, i BBQsås!



Lite bananasplit på det där så!

To make you jealous

Sitting in Athens right now, it's 33 degrees in the (most needed) shadow.
As a comparision I had a look at the weather at home in Uppsala.
13 weak celsius and a bit rain. Swedish summer iow.

I'm hiding in the shadow and try to get enough freckles on my shoulders to make it an even tan. Hard work!

BTW when I walked up to this truck, off road, I meet a TURTLE! In the forest!
So thet do live outside aquarium. Cute on, asked how old he was but he didn't wanna tell me...

Put the smile back on the beak!

This is going to be my most serious statement. DON’T EAT sad CHICKEN!

The horrible reality just hit me, or more, parked next to us.

A lorry transporting chicken. Overcrowded cages, bottom to top, nothing on the sides.

Cages so small that the chicken couldn’t stand up, and to small for them to breathe properly.

And this lorry was standing in the sun, 40 degrees. No water. No food.

Before the lorry entered the ferry one of the chicken got loose. And the whole parking turned into a gladiator arena where the bad people chased this strong, brave chicken. I truly hope she made it and that she put some fait into all this poor, bad treated animals all over our world. REVOLUTIONS!

In the morning when we went down to jump into our truck, the whole floor was covered with feathers.

Each feather was flying around like a scream of pain or help.

So lads, join me:

* Just eat chicken that’s been transported in 5 star cages

* Let them die close to where they grew up, absolutely not in a unknown country far away!

We just want to have chickens with a smile on their beak on our plate!

Is this song written for me or?

I'm on my way, new friends and places to see.

Cause theres nothing like, seeing each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories we tell, will make you smile
Or really lifts my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyjMTA53-0

<3

Kanon och Kalkon a la' Rom

Mi piace (good stuff):
Our toilet at the truck

The Ham & Mozzarella
The evening temperature
Colusseum by night

Non mi piace (shitty stuff):
Best Western Hotel President
Vatican and Benny
The staff at B.W Hotel + electricians

28 hours of work, in one go.

Frasi simpatiche (nice quotes):
-Can we have a spoon?
-Ah you wanna have cucchiaino! (spoken it sounds Kokain)

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

- Lets hide. And jump up naked. Covered in Tiramisu!

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

¤¤¤ If you heard any other smilebending
comment in Rome, just let me know¤

One ay-ay-ya, two ay-ay-ya...

My "office"

MY OFFICE
MY HOME
MY LIFE
¤¤¤THE_TRUCK¤¤¤

Picture Poem

You lay against my leg, or I hold you in my hand

You helped me remember

all nights my memory failed

We went through more then the most

hippie beach, An Brog nights

speeding down on snow

Caves

Forest

Pulsing cities

You never let me down

We survived it all

But then so suddenly

You fell away from me

Down

Down

I heard your neck break

The cold concrete crushed it all

You

Me

All the adventures to come

I regret I didn’t got to know you better

And I miss you so

But I’m sure you will enjoy

Enjoy the camera heaven

Brussels in nöffnöff + nöffnöff minutes

Düsseldorf - Brussels Time 1h 56min
If you ask Google maps
Or
Düsseldorf - Brussels Time 3h 18min
If you ask me (all mistakes included)

After this trip I been in a car REVERSING on autobahn back to the ausfahrt.
One less of the 100 things to do before you die.


CarConversation while watching a GPSmap in the mobile:

Driver: The red line is the arrow, the blue is the road.
Map reader: Check!
D: And the big N is north!
M: Hey I’m not stupid.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

D: The locals told me to turn back and take this road.
M: Don’t listened to them, we have the technology. Lets go!
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

M: We are going to have a massive house on the left side soon.
D: That’s the West sign.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

M: This’s going well, carry on straight ahead in the roundabout.
D: There’s no roundabout…
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Hmm strange that the bike lanes on both sides are as big as the road. Next generation of Autobahn or?
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

M: Here’s a huuuge roundabout, then we’re back on the big road.
D: Looks like they have some constructions here. And they forgot to put back the roundabout .
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Me waking up, Shitfuck we are standing still where the highway split into two lines:
Take right, JUST DRIVE!
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

M: Hello Brussels! wops, we are out of battery. Aaaahhhh..!
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
^ ^ ^ ^ ^